Cooped Up? Get Uncooped.

Tab A, slot B, we all know the basic mechanics. That's "how to have sex on the beach." You'll note, though, that that is not the title of this post. This post is all about making sure that sex on the beach is good for everyone - you, your partner (or partners- whatever floats your boat), the local wildlife, and innocent bystanders.

-Make sure you and your partner(s) are comfortable with the idea. If you're not going to be able to relax and enjoy the experience, don't do it. The point is to have fun.

-Pick a good spot. This means 1. sheltered from view (by boulders, sand dunes, etc) 2. not prone to sneaker waves, quick-rising tides, or aggressive sea lions and 3. deserted.

-Be prepared. Wear easy-access clothing- skirts, sarongs, etc. Bring a towel or blanket to lay on and another to cover up with. Don't forget protection of whatever sort you're using- you are using protection, right? Also bring unscented, hypoallergenic baby wipes for handy clean-up and a baggie to dispose of everything in. 

-Don't get caught. Seriously, don't. You could face indecency or lewd conduct charges, and/or seriously traumatize Great-Aunt Lulu who's out for her evening walk. Reduce the odds of this happening by covering up with a blanket, only disrobing as much as necessary, making it a nighttime tryst, and making sure you pick a sheltered spot on a deserted beach.

-Leave no trace. Take only memories, leave only footprints. Or butt prints, as the case may be. Whatever. You know what I mean. Don't leave stuff behind- that's just wrong. 

Now go! Have fun! Watch out for sand fleas!

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